How to avoid being stopped, searched or even shot

(my legal advisors suggest I state that the majority of firearms incidents take place without… incident).

Last updated 21 February 2008.

1. look at the police;
2. don’t look at the police;
3. don’t enter tube stations at the same time as two other men;
4. don’t wear a jacket too warm for the season;
5. don’t carry a bulky rucksack;
6. don’t keep it with you at all times;
7. do keep it with you at all times;
8. don’t look at people coming on the platform;
9. don’t play with your mobile phone;
10. don’t take paper from inside your jacket;
11. don’t heckle Labour ministers;
12. don’t protest;
13. don’t exit a building suspected to be home to suspected terrorists;
14. don’t get back on the bus you just alighted;
15. don’t use your mobile phone to send texts or make phone calls;
16. don’t be nervous, agitated, or anxious, especially after being manhandled by strangers wearing rucksacks;
17. don’t fall into a diabetic coma;
18. don’t wear a large coat.